Follow the Flamingodile...

The Vanishingly Rare Flamingodile

Alex Fontinakes (aka monk) presents for your perusal issue three of his face-shredding hardcopy 'zine, Wizards Mutants Lazer Pistols. I only found out about this fine publication when I volunteered to do the above illustration for the current issue. Anyone who spells "lazer" with a Z is alright in my book...

While you're at it, check out his old school module Beneath the Ruins, the first in what I hope will be a long line of products from Geoffrey McKinney's newest venture, Psychedelic Fantasies.

Good. Stuff.

Proof of the Existence of Glob!

 Ask, and it shall eventually be given...  Alexandre Ilitchev at Blood Ghost has made my dreams come true with Adventure Time: The RPG!

The Good: It's freaking awesome.

The Bad: It's a full-color pdf, and so essentially unprintable on a home printer (well, my home printer anyway...) It also has no bookmarks.

The Controversial: It's based on 4e.

Now, that's probably only controversial to the Old Skool crowd I run with, most of whom have no real use for 4e. Actually, it'll probably be more disappointing than controversial. I myself have an on-again/off-again fascination with Type IV, especially in its Essentials manifestation, so it doesn't particularly bother me.

On the contrary, I think it's a sorely-lacking example of how flexible 4e can be. This game really strips the system down to its fundamentals, and shows (also for the first time) that 4e does humor with no problem. Frex, if you play a Candy Person (and of course you can), your racial power is "Candybalism", which allows you to break off and eat a piece of yourself in order to immediately use a healing surge. Completely. Algebraic.

There's also an online Character Generator, which allowed me to create Sweet Cheeks the Awesome, Sticky Bun Warrior of the Candy People, in all of two minutes.

Do yourself a favor and check it out. If you're not familiar with Adventure Time, well, stop living in a cave and join us in the Land of Ooo; you won't regret it. Well, at least not as long as you have a sense of humor...

You know what Time it is!

D&D Next Playtest, or A Goblin Bloodbath...

Hey! Three Little Brown Books!

Well, after one failed attempt, we finally organized a D&D Next playtest! Will, of course, needed booklets, and so not only hosted us, but set the tone with his old school rendition of the newest school. Awesome.

The Crew

From left to right: Chad, Will, Sean, and Susan. My awesome Brave Halfling gaming box is standing in for me...

The Characters

• From left to right: Rhynar the dwarf Cleric of Moradin; 
• Parsley, the elf Wizard; 
• Darro, the halfling Rogue;  
• Slayer the dwarf Fighter.

As usual, I couldn't keep names straight, and immediately starting referring to Rhynar as Rhino, and Darro as Pedro, but there you go.

The Adventure
In which goblins are taught the futility of their existence...


Our intrepid heroes enter the realm of the Caves of Chaos. While deciding which cave to approach, Rhynar feels a greater evil emanating from the caves at the far end of the ravine. Sensibly, they decide to enter a cave near the mouth of the ravine...

They immediately encounter a goblin patrol, and almost as immediately obliterate it. As the red fog clears, they hear the flat-footed approach of more goblins, and so duck down a dead-end corridor, hoping to find a secret door. Parsley comes up empty, and so as a clump of goblins at the far end of the corridor notice them, our heroes open fire with crossbow, sling, and magic missile. Goblins die. Slayer and Rhynar rush forward; Darro ducks and weaves through the fog of war. More goblins die. Some goblins run away. All is momentarily quiet.

Not for long. A door is heard crashing open. Heavy footsteps and basso-profundo rumblings approach. Our heroes ready themselves and behold a sight they'll not soon forget: A naked ogre, bilious yellow in color, with violet eyes and a great shock of lank black hair, shouldering a big chunk of wood. He sees Parsley and smiles hideously. "Ellllllllff..." he grumbles, and lumbers forward.

A furious battle ensues in which heroic tactics win the day: Parsley shows why it's so vital to master cantrips, and locks the brute in place with Cone of Frost. The dwarves wound and are wounded, and Darro stays out of the ogre's line of site and pelts him with sling bullets. He begins to break free of the ice, and is promptly frozen in place again. Rhynar ends things with a righteous warhammer bringing justice to ogre genitalia. The creature collapses, and Darro finds himself crushed beneath what is later termed "the flaccid ogre bulk." Thankfully he suffers little more than bruised dignity. The party takes a short rest to allow Rhynar to shake out his battered shield arm, and then push on.

Locating the ogre's aromatic den, they poke around and quickly leave with a large sack of coins and an unopened cask of fine brandy. A bit farther on they find a room which seems to be full of goblins. They confirm their suspicions by throwing a torch into the darkness, which is greeted by squeals of panic and flight of arrows. Our heroes charge in, the dwarves leading the way, and indeed find a roomful of foes. Battle is joined and many more goblins die. Quickly. Gruesomely. However, Parsley is knocked unconscious one moment, only to be reinvigorated by Rhynar's healing chant. He leaps up and brains a goblin with his staff, then starts melting off faces with Shocking Grasp. Rhynar plays the knightly defender to the hilt, interposing his shield between friends and foes, saving Parsley and Darro several times from potential injury. Slayer, well, slays. A lot. Then the Goblin King rushes into the room with his retinue.

Hurling a spear, it strikes the already wounded Slayer in the chest, knocking her unconscious. Parsley shouts out the runes of Sleep, and casts his glittering dust over the newly arrived foes. Darro ricochets a sling bullet off the the King's helmet. Four of them collapse in slumber, but the King, while shaking his head groggily, pushes forward. Parsley and Darro drag Slayer out of the room while Rhynar goes into pure defense mode, protecting his companions with a fighting withdrawal. The King presses his attack furiously, but simply can't break through Rhynar's defense. Out in the hallway, Slayer thrashes back to life, her enforced short rest bringing her back to groggy life. As Rhynar and the Goblin King back out into the corridor, Darro ends the fight with a well-aimed sling bullet.

Realizing that both the giant sack of coins and the cask of brandy are still in the room, our heroes show their true mettle and rush back in, suffer a few wounds, but secure their loot. With resources running low, they exit from the ogre's cave and head back to some semblance of civilization...

We take confidentiality very seriously. Pizza, too.

The Summary
We had a blast! Though in essence it wasn't anything more than a smash-and-grab killfest, it was really fun.

Thoughts:

• The Advantage/Disadvantage mechanic
• Simple, elegant, and completely useful. In fact, we used it constantly. Even if I never played D&D Next again, I would steal this mechanic.
• Backgrounds and Themes
• Simple and colorful. They functioned as easy to grasp hooks for character personality. Slightly confusing was the fact that the Rogue had both a Scheme and a Theme, but I imagine that'll shake itself out. The potential for easily individualizing characters without needing to spend a half-hour poring over lists of feats and skills is huge.
• Ability checks, saving throws, etc
• Easy-peasy. I'm a huge fan of the fact that all checks are now tied to ability scores. I find it intuitive, and honestly, is something I've been house-ruling almost since I started playing with Moldvay Basic.
• Skills 
• Here's the cool thing: Though all the characters had skills tied to backgrounds and themes, none of the skills were described in the accompanying rules---and it didn't matter. There was no question of how or when to use them.
• Characters
• We all agreed that every character had cool stuff to do out of the gate. I think it's arguable the Wizard may be a bit over-powered to begin with (does he really need magic missile AND shocking grasp, for instance?), but that'll likely work itself out, too. I love that the Fighter with the Reaper theme does damage even when he misses. Awesome.
• Hit points/dice
• Though it took me a bit to overcome the gravitational pull of past-edition expectations, I have to say I really like how hit points are being handled. It seems to me a well-considered blend of AD&D and 4th Ed. healing surges. And even the rules as they stand describe the whole concept of hit points in the clearest language since the AD&D DM's Guide: They are an abstract measurement of overall ability and endurance. Down to half your HP's, and you show no physical damage. Less than half, some cuts, bruises, abrasions. Zero, you're knocked unconscious. Below zero, someone got through your defenses and you are dying. IMO, this makes the idea of characters taking a short rest to shake off the battle makes complete sense, especially since they can only recover a number of times equal to their HD (level), and they only recover a random amount based on that class HD. So, a Wizard can take a short rest to recover HP's, but will most likely always recover less than, say, a Cleric or Fighter.
• Flow of play
• This whole session really felt no different to me than playing ODD or AD&D. In fact, since characters had some more options, it was in ways more fun. It was fast, and encouraged DM rulings and player innovation. Works for me.
• Experience
• With the rules as they stand, I have no idea how experience is being generated, except that at this point, characters only get XP for overcoming foes. There's actually very little monetary treasure in the whole adventure. I don't necessarily have a problem with that, but it is confusing to me why, for instance, the Goblin King was worth 400 XP, and ogre only 350, when the ogre was definitely a more dangerous foe (with twice the HP's!) I'm willing to let that sit for now, but it was interesting that all the characters left with XP's putting them halfway to 2nd level.

If it isn't obvious, I think WotC is heading in the right direction. I'm pumped for our next session (though I'm also in the midst of moving, so it might be a few weeks...) I'm also really interested to see the next iteration of the rules, which will reportedly cover character creation.

Dim Carcosa, or darn that Shub-Niggurath...

...in dim Carcosa.

About 10 days ago I managed to run a G+ session of Geoffrey McKinney's Supplement V: Carcosa, now available in a gorgeous edition bound in human skin...er, some sort of extremely tactile substance. Sadly, my own copy is a printed-out version of the original edition, as it were, but as soon as I become independently wealthy, I'll spring for the Finlandian volume.

I've wanted to game in Carcosa ever since it first came out, but seeing as how at the time my oldest son was usually playing in our sessions, I needed to bide my time. G+ sessions are by there temporal nature (for me at least) kid-unfriendly, so I finally got my wish. I grabbed the Carcosan Grimoire (extremely helpful, and I believe its contents are included in the current edition), hunted down my copy of Fight On! #4, containing Geoffrey's Carcosan intro adventure (also now included in the revised edition), and was ready to go. Will and Shane joined me online, having already created basic characters (both Fighting Men--no Sorcerers this time out). I decided on the ODD rules, but with the stat bonuses from Labyrinth Lord, just 'cause. I also started them both out at second level, since there were only two of them. We Carcosa'd them by choosing color and, from the Grimoire, by adding names and a specific item of clothing for each, which gave us:

• He of Mercy, Neutral Green Warrior, wearing Translucent Chains. (Will)
• The Unanswerable Wind, Lawful Ulfire Warrior, wearing Precious Chains. (Shane)

I started them right on the southern edge of the desert, spending the night in burnt-out ruins while in search of treasure. They swiftly encountered a gigantic flying edifice shaped like a kneeling woman clutching at her veiled face, which loomed out of the black night and settled next to their campsite. A being inside sent them on a dream flight across the desert and into caves on the far side, where they viewed a disturbing statuette of greenish-black stone, somewhat reminiscent of a Great Old One whose name rhymes with "Hulu". The entity suggested they retrieve the statue, and waking to find the edifice gone, they decided to comply.

Thence followed the gathering of dried Black Lotus leaves from an enigmatic statue; a quick and brutal fight with some yellow cannibals; more antagonism involving White Lotus zombies and the death of The Unanswerable Wind; the discovery of a heretofore unnoticed captive of the zombies, a Chaotic Blue Warrior named Uttermost Grace of War; the drinking of a potion in an alchemist's lab which promptly turned UGoW into a green man (much to the delight of He of Mercy); an avoidance of a group of Deep Ones; and the final death of both Warriors in battle with a foul Spawn of Shub-Niggurath in the form of a bone-white arachnid creature with burning yellow eyes and plethora of small fanged mouths as they back-tracked through a storage room. Thus the adventure ended, though not before rolling up two new characters:

• The Uttermost Ravishment, Orange Warrior, wearing a Leather Robe
• Shining Life of the Eyes, Orange Warrior, wearing Tight Weapons (?)

Immediate synopsis: We had a blast! It's such a weird setting, I don't think any of us really knew what to expect from encounter to encounter. The wacky dice-rolling turned out to be a lot of fun. In fact, I'm pretty sure I'll use this type of dicing whatever version of ODD I'm running. It's great because it really makes combat uncertain and actually exciting, and you're throwing all the dice all the time, which is always fun.

I'm excited to run it again, and in the quest to find some character sheets, I was tipped off to a limited-edition Carcosan game-aid, which I'll share more about as soon as it arrives in the mail...

THE EMPEROR IS DEAD! LONG LIVE THE EMPEROR!

Pe Choi. Tekumelyani race. Elegant philosophers and most friendly with humans.

As many of you have no doubt already heard, Professor M.A.R. Barker died peacefully yesterday in his Minneapolis home, in the presence of loved ones. He will be sorely missed, and the work of The Tekumel Foundation is even more important.

I never got to meet the Professor (though I live in Minneapolis), though I came close once. Nevertheless, his creations have enriched and inspired me for almost 25 years. Tekumel products, including the newly published facsimile copy of the pre-published, playtest rules for The Empire of the Petal Throne can be found here and here.

I was privileged to fulfill a longtime dream of mine and publish three Tekumel-related illustrations in the pages of Fight On! Magazine, issues 5-7, as well a couple of others scattered about. In the best memorial I can think of, I've posted them here.

Thank you, Professor, for everything you gave us. Long Live the Petal Throne!

Pygmy Folk. Tekumelyani race. Will steal you blind. And then steal your eyes.

Ahoggya. Tekumelyani race. Will pretty much eat anything. Including you, if you look like you're dead...

Grandpa Aqqa. Shall we say, a devoted worshiper of the Lord of Worms.

Hra. A terrible undead creature found far too often in the Underworlds.

Shunned One. A mysterious race living in gas-filled dome cities.

Target 20: Me likey...

This post at the Aspiring Lich led me to this document: Target 20. I feel pretty sure I've read it before, but must not have been in the right mindset to appreciate it. I really like it--it pretty much solves all my statistical and neurotic hesitations about ditching to-hit charts and not liking ascending AC (and getting my kid to practice adding on the fly!)

The only weak spot seems to be thief skills. I can see how it works for almost all of the skills as they stand except for Climb Walls, which starts out much higher to begin with. Maybe give that particular skill a +3 modifier to the roll?

Dungeon Crawl #1 & some awesome paper minis...

Wayne Rossi, over at Semper Initiativus Unum has published his own modest 'zine, Dungeon Crawl. I laid down my $2.50, and promptly received said 'zine. This is something that seems like it might be a burgeoning phenomenon: content that could easily have been provided as a download (free or otherwise) being printed and mailed. I'll admit, I was strangely pleased to get this in the mail, in an envelope. Here it is:

Six pages of content:

1. Introduction 
2. Random trap charts
3. Magic items and monsters
4. Monsters
5. New Magic User spells
6. One-page dungeon

I like the intro 'cause I'm always interested to hear about the process. Some might be slightly annoyed that an entire sixth of the document was devoted to an intro, but I'm not one of them. The traps are fairly generic, except for the death ray results, which were pretty awesome. Six magic items, each with an elemental focus, as per the intro, all of which I could see myself using. The five monsters are quirky, one of which (the Ypotryll) I'm immediately going to use as a riding beast in my campaign. I coulda done without the Shocker Lizards. Five new Magic User spells, four of which were 1st level, one of which was 4th level. I don't usually use spells from outside sources (I'm not sure why that is), but it'd be fun for characters to find the aftermath of a Sand Storm spell clogging a room in the dungeon...

Last but not least, the first level of an apparently ongoing Dungeons of Tsalonia. This is presented in the One Page Dungeon Template, of which I'm a big fan. This of course means that descriptions, etc., are left to be fleshed out by the individual DM, which some might dislike.

My favorite room description:

32 - In the center of this room is a pit trap (trapdoor type). In the pit is a bear (HD 4, AC 6). The bear is quite hungry.


This is very much an oldschool dungeon, in that there's no attempt at Gygaxian Naturalism. Insert into campaign map, and away you go. :)

Overall: I felt it was worth $2.50. Will I by another? Most likely.

On another tack entirely, check out this excellent bunch of free paper minis, with basing instructions. Just click on the pictures themselves to download your legions. I can relate to this line:

So, if you prefer wargaming to painting models, and if you want to finish projects and play before hell freezes, paper can be a solution for you.


Amen, brother.

A